There are people telling funny history stories and I wanted to tell my favorite!
Okay, so. When Napoleon invaded Egypt, the Egyptians wanted to get in his good favor, so they sent along two teenage girls to him for him to use as he pleased. Napoleon was disgusted, because um, no, and he was madly in love with Josephine. So he sent them back. And, well, the Egyptian ministers must have misunderstood.
Because they sent back two ten year old boys.
(Source: inquisitories, via lost-enough-to-find-the-stars)
Sometimes i talk in song lyrics and my friends don’t even notice
sometimes I talk in Mean Girls quotes and no one notices
Sometimes I talk and nobody notices
At first it was funny but then it got kind of sad
Just like my social life
(Source: brendonboredurie, via thynguyeenn)
I want to make you smile and I want to make you cum.
I want to hold your hand and I want to hold your hips down while you’re writhing.
I want to make your eyes light up and I want to make them roll in the back of your head.
I want to be your reason to wake up and your reason to stay in bed.
I want to kiss your wounds and I want you to leave them on my back.
I want to play with your hair while you sleep and I want to feel it between my fingers while you are on top of me.
I want to memorize the repetition of your breathing and I want to memorize the sporadics of your moaning.
I want to see the arch in your grin and I want to feel the arch in your back before you collapse.
I want to go out to dinner with you and I want to go down on you.
I want to to feel you in my heart and I want to feel you inside me.
I want to make you laugh and I want to make you scream.
I want to still be able to taste you in the morning.
I want you in every form.
cutest fkn thing ever man (via weary—soul)
(Source: paragraphsofaprosaist, via thynguyeenn)
Mondays are fine. It’s your life that sucks.
Ricky Gervais (via kathpierces)
(Source: supermodelgif, via expiredfeelings)
*ride operator voice* please keep your lols omgs and your “I tried to scroll past this”s inside the tags at all times ladies and gents